Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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