Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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