It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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