Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
