wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
