Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
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