Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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