just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
