Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
There r osticjed everywhere
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
