I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
