I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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