He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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