he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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