If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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