I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
