Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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