I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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