If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
