I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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