Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I want her autograph on my taint
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
