But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
