opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
