I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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