it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Randomize
