at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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