margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
