I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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