There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
