How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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