Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Say something about gay babies.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
