1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
