We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
