Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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