Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
