things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
