He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
