I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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