I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
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