as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
