Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
