i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
