Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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