Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
