I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
