I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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