I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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