just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
