she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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