Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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