She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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